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Writing tips newsletter Previous issues Subscribe Email:

Business Writing Tips e-newsletter : January/February 2008

Emulate how journalists bottom-line stories

See how the summary below concisely explains the news in one sentence. Use it as a model for bottom-lining your message, conveying what's most important first.

Wall Street Journal, Jan. 28

Yahoo swung to a loss and warned that the weak advertising market will continue to hurt sales, adding to pressure on new CEO Bartz.

Write explicit subject lines to engage readers

Use a specific subject line to engage readers before they open the email and get them thinking about the desired action.

Vague

Feb. 6 meeting

Explicit and engaging

Need lead-generation ideas for Feb. 6 meeting
Write explicit subject lines to engage readers

Wordy and stuffy

We have developed a brand new capability, incorporating a software program that facilitates the tracking of shipments at a 50% faster rate than they were during the course of last year.

Plain English

Our new software allows us to track shipments 50% faster than we could last year.
Grammar tip: than vs. then
The proposal was much too wordy, at least 10 pages longer than necessary. Bob attended the first 15 minutes of the meeting and then had to call a client.