Business Writing Tips e-newsletter : September 2007
With proposals, state specific outcomes
With new business proposals, don't just promise great results; explain how you'll
achieve specific outcomes.
Empty promises
Through our PR campaign, your company will receive widespread visibility. As a result, your firm will be recognized by targeted audiences.
Specific outcomes
By positioning your company as a source for innovative products and insights on the latest trends, we can place articles in key trade publications. As a result, targeted audiences will view your firm as a problem solver.
Use compelling verbs to enliven text
Replace ordinary verbs with compelling verbs to make your text come alive.
Ordinary
The introduction of this product will get our company to the next level.
Compelling
The introduction of this product will propel your company to the next level.
Vary sentence structure so text flows
Nobody enjoys reading short, choppy sentences written the same way. Boring! Vary how sentences start so your text flows better.
Boring, repetitive structure
Sue Brock is the new HR Director. She met with administrative assistants at the regional meeting. Sue urged them to learn more about new products. She also urged the administrative assistants to work in teams to resolve customer complaints. The assistants who attended the meeting reacted very favorably to both of Sue's recommendations.
Varied structure, better flow
At the regional meeting, Sue Brock, the new HR director, urged administrative assistants to earn more about new products and to work in teams to resolve customer complaints. Both suggestions were embraced by those who attended.
Grammar tip: i.e. vs. e.g.
Don't use i.e. (in other words) when you should use e.g. (for example).
Wrong
On this morning's call, the manager discussed several keys to success (i.e.
teamwork, innovation & open communication).
Right
On this morning's call, the manager discussed several keys to success (e.g.
teamwork, innovation & open communication).