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Business Writing Tips e-newsletter : November 2008

Use one sentence instead of two or three

Wordy

We conducted the audit on Nov. 12. During this process, we found several accounting errors and a lack of critical documentation. This is a clear indication that we need to do a better job training mid-level managers.

One concise sentence

In the Nov. 12 audit, we found several accounting errors and a lack of critical documentation, a clear indication that we need to better train mid-level managers.

Be consistent with bullets

Use the same structure with a set of bulleted items.

Inconsistent

The new system offers several advantages:

It comes with the capability of providing programming in three formats
Diagnostics that are built in to identify and troubleshoot problems
Provides easy-to-follow instruction

Consistent

The new system offers several advantages:

Programming in three formats
Built-in diagnostics to identify and troubleshoot problems
Easy-to-follow instructions

Grammar tip: don't forget that apostrophe

Though Ron has the longest tenure of any supervisor with our firm, Susan has an impressive resume and extensive managerial experience that easily matches Ron/Ron's (apostrophe clarifies that we're comparing the experience of the two people).

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