Business Writing Tips e-newsletter : August 2008

Use action verbs to bring text to life

Dull

I'm confident that our firm will do better than competitors next year.

Compelling

I'm confident that our firm will outshine competitors next year.

Dull

We need to make up for rising fuel costs.

Compelling

We need to offset rising fuel costs.

Write instructions with a numbered list

For instructions, use a numbered list instead of a long-winded paragraph.

Wordy paragraph

There are several steps for completing a performance review. The first thing is to assess the employee's strengths and challenges over the past 12 months. Then you should identify which of his or her goals were achieved. After this, you need to determine if the employee needs training. Then you should be able to recommend a promotion, if merited.

Concise, numbered list

Below are the steps for completing a performance review.

Assess strengths and challenges over the past 12 months.
Identify which goals were achieved.
Determine if training is needed.
Recommend a promotion, if merited.

Grammar tip: breath vs. breadth

After that four-hour meeting, I need a breath of fresh air.

Susan's breadth of experience is unmatched in our industry.

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